It is amazing to me how many lives are affected by pornography.  How many women suffer in silence.  Why silence?  Because we are concerned about confidentiality and trust.  We are concerned how members of our family will react.  How they will view our husbands.  Our choices.

I have come to realize that the viewing of pornography by my husband is not about me.  It was a choice he made when life was falling apart all around us and he felt hopeless; when he felt he didn't really matter to the family; when he felt judged by everyone at church and in the community.  After all, our lives were spiraling out of control while others' seemed to have all of their ducks in a row. His viewing began as a way out.  A relief from all of the pressure.

Like the person who begins drinking.  Or taking drugs.  Or smoking. Or overeating.

And yet, why does it feel it is all about me, and what I'm not or what I am lacking.